I was laid off

This is The Startup Breakdown, the newsletter where we learn, laugh, and love startups. By joining this growing community of hundreds of future startup aficionados (think i spelled that right?), you're getting a beachside view of the ocean that is the startup and VC scene. This ain’t your grandpa’s newsletter, so prepare yourself for an inbox full of 4/20 jokes and Succession references.

Happy Wednesday, folks.

I know I said I’d be off this week, but I missed you guys too much.

Well, that and I have a few major announcements to share. Like, probably the biggest, most vulnerable ones I have shared to date.

So, if you’re going to read any email all the way through, this is the one.

😃 

I was laid off

This past summer, I joined a small, scrappy 3-founder startup as Head of Growth.

With checks from Paul Graham, Balaji, and Rebel Fund (Reddit CEO Steve Huffman’s firm), Infobot was ready to use the transformative powers of AI to redefine the news and information industries.

Unfortunately, after months of…

• marketing efforts

• social media experimentation

• newsletter writing (6 weekly in addition to this one…)

• video producing

• deep web searching

• sales efforts

• expert interviews

• event networking

• Python scripts

• man on the street polls

• SEO self-education

• and a dozen product pivots…

our revenue was still $0. I failed to accomplish the very thing I was hired for. With our high burn rate and lack of clear direction, I was let go.

I was thrown into the fire with this role.

I graduated last May with a couple of startup and VC internships under my belt and the skins of various failed companies of my own on the wall.

However, if there’s one superpower which I would have previously claimed, it was the ability to simply get things done, no matter the obstacles or barriers. Not once had it crossed my mind that I wouldn’t figure things out like I’d always done, and though I knew nothing about SEO or how to run an ad, I was confident that eventually, I would just get it.

For whatever reason, growth is the white whale that I never did conquer. I do think that the ball had finally started to move in the right direction towards the end of my tenure, and many of my efforts were probably in vain given our lack of product, but I can’t say with confidence that I now “get it,” and to be completely honest, I can’t even tell you what I’ve learned works based on my own trials and errors.

“Losses are lessons” is one of the most overused, dishonest claims made to console those who have undergone hardship. Most of the time, you simply fail. No lesson. No silver lining. It just didn’t work.

The levels of self-doubt I’ve since experienced over the last week are among the worst I’ve ever experienced. I’ve questioned my entire image of self, my imago mei.

If I’m not the person who can persevere over any obstacles, who am I?

Worse than breaking my perception of being immortal, I’ve felt defenseless. Vulnerable.

The feeling of being an utter, objective failure is one that I’ve never experienced in any walk of life that wasn’t startups. If you choose this path, you’re one sick, sick puppy.

What comes next?

The Infobot team was willing to bet on my hustle, and for that, I am grateful. Nevertheless, I am back on the job hunt, but the goal remains the same: build a unicorn.

Given my current circumstances, I believe that my optimal next step is finding something a tad bit cushier than the startup life, allowing me a bit of time to breathe (I say that like I wasn’t halfway through a sports SaaS MVP 12 hours post-firing lol) and save up a little before diving back in.

Clearly, my role was a bit of a Jack of all Trades position. Through this experimentation, I found that Growth and Product were the most compelling paths.

• So, bit of a Hail Mary, but if you have any connections in SF that may be helpful, I’m offering lifetime premium memberships to anyone that can provide referrals 🙂 

What does this mean for the newsletter?

I should have more time to work on it.

Looking back, it’s clear that my heart hasn’t been in it for the last few months. I’ve been regurgitating information that you’ve prolly seen in a dozen other newsletters and writing “like a Boomer” rather than providing the “startup alpha” you signed up for.

I’m sorry. I haven’t delivered.

I have a severe case of writers’ burn out. Hence why I’m “writing” this by screaming into my AirPods over the sound of my neighbor’s vacuum.

I haven’t had the time to just sit and think in literally 6 months, and finally having a few days to do so has helped me to redirect this directionless ship (sorry. poor taste?)

Here’s the new cadence for The Startup Breakdown:

• Every Tuesday: a free newsletter analyzing one promising early stage startup (tb to the og days) and a curation of my favorite links and resources from the week

• Every Thursday: a Premium newsletter with either a personal experience/reflection, a major trend or piece of legislation that needs full coverage, or the occasional double dip of startup profiling

If you enjoy this newsletter, I ask that you choose to upgrade. It costs less than $1/week, and it helps growth tremendously as I reinvest every cent that I make into making this a better experience for you.

If you’re not in a financial position to do so, I understand.

However, you can still 100% contribute to the cause by sharing the newsletter with people that you know would enjoy it. You get to be the friend with underground indie recs before the band takes off, and you even get rewards for doing so :)

I started this newsletter because I wanted to find my tribe. I was looking for fellow traditional-path-spurners who were obsessed with the disruptive capacity of entrepreneurial ambition and ingenuity.

To an extent, I have found that, and to those who have ever left feedback, I can’t say thank you enough. You help me to continue to push even when things feel stuck.

To those who are newer, or even older subscribers who have simply never reached out, I legitimately want to hear from you. Feedback is like gold for a newsletter, and given all of the automatic email openers and link checkers that email providers deploy, metrics are impossible to interpret.

The only real way I know if I’m doing a good job or whether I need to change something is when you hold me accountable.

Before hitting you with the biweekly Gatsby gif, I wanted to share one thought.

As a society, we’ve gotten way too comfortable promoting and assuming that good things will happen to those who wait. To those who don’t rush things. To those who are patient.

I can’t disagree more.

Absolutely be patient with the results.

However, be fanatically, ravenously impatient with the process.

Whatever your craft is, attack the day-to-day with everything you have.

You guys mean more to me than you’ll ever know.

How am I doing?

I love hearing from readers, and I’m always looking for feedback. How am I doing with The Startup Breakdown? Is there anything you’d like to see more or less of? Which aspects of the newsletter do you like most?

Cheers to another day,

Trey